Thanks be to God

“May God bless you” is what she said. Words not out of the ordinary for a Catholic Sunday mass. This time, however, it was said with watery eyes, and with more conviction than I have ever heard. My mother wanted to come with me for at least one last church service before I made my trek across the world to Abu Dhabi. Delay after delay I am still here, but being able to go to mass this morning with my mother made the wait so far worth it, I just hope that I don’t have to wait much longer.

Everyone has pain in their life. Some is left in the past; some is carried with you and comes out at unexpected moments. Whenever I see young children, twinges of regret can seep to the surface. I’ve made the choice not to have children. It has not been an easy one to make. And it wasn’t always a choice. That is for another chapter of my story. Today when I saw young children in mass, the regret seeped to the surface and then stopped…and seemed to transform. When I looked at this one young girl in particular, what used to be twangs of envy that she wasn’t my own, I saw myself. I realized my mother was looking at her as well. I might have been completely off, but I’m usually very good in realizing what people are thinking. My mother was standing beside her little girl who was about to leave her for the unknown. I could see her longing for time past when I was really her little girl, at about the age of the angel in front of us. Times might not have been happy for our family in my younger years, but I felt her yearning for them. Perhaps I do too, but I’m glad to have had those memories and I’m excited to move into the next chapter…

For this opportunity...Thanks be to God.